October 10, 2024, 2:48 pm | Read time: 3 minutes
Jennifer Lopez has had a tough few weeks. After her breakup with ex Ben Affleck, there was a lot of pressure from the public to get information, a photo, or at least a glimpse of one of the parties. But it wasn’t all bad this summer, the singer reveals in an interview. Carmen Dörfler has summarized what the separation brought her despite the heartache.
JLo’s separation from her then-husband, Ben Affleck, was tumultuous and highly publicized. The whole world watched as their rekindled love collapsed. In recent weeks, paparazzi have gone to great lengths to snap a photo of the 57-year-old, whether she’s alone or with her ex. One thing is clear: Jennifer Lopez has not had the best summer.
The summer following her breakup helped JLo grow personally
Yet, despite the heartache, the summer brought some positives for the singer, as she revealed in an interview with Interview magazine: “You have to be kind to yourself. I thought I had learned that, but I hadn’t. And then, this summer, I had to say, ‘I have to go out and be myself. I want to prove to myself that I can do this.'”
So JLo used the summer after her breakup to figure out who she is, what she wants, and how she can give that to herself: “The work is figuring out who you are. It’s about looking at the feelings behind it all and the belief system we have about ourselves that makes us make safe choices and create certain patterns in our lives.” However, the journey didn’t unfold as the Latina artist had hoped: “When you’re at a point where you thought you learned your lessons and then it pops back in your face, you realize, ‘Okay, I didn’t, so what do I need to look at right now?”
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Jennifer Lopez takes responsibility for her happiness
So what advice does JLo have for anyone going through a breakup or, like her, looking for happiness in all the wrong places? “I would say to never stop looking inward because it’s so easy to blame someone else.”
Jennifer Lopez is now taking responsibility for her own well-being and also delving into her childhood experiences. She had an extravagant mother and a father who worked all day, and these factors, as well as being a middle child, made her feel like she wasn’t a priority. Now, she is working through this because it also affects her present: “You don’t know until these things manifest themselves in your adult relationships.” She continued: “It’s been a journey for me. I think I’ve spent my whole life just trying to say, ‘I’m good enough’ until now that I know.”
The star also speaks to her inner child
She now looks after her inner child and talks to her regularly. But it took some doing: “These things don’t become clear until you’ve gone through incredibly hard moments and huge disappointments that you couldn’t even imagine.” This inner work feels “lonely, unknown, terrifying.” “It feels desperate. But by embracing those feelings and affirming, ‘These experiences won’t destroy me,’ it becomes evident that I can cultivate joy and happiness within myself. Being in a relationship doesn’t define me. I can’t look for happiness in other people. I have to have happiness in me.”