January 1, 2025, 4:18 pm | Read time: 7 minutes
Around nine million women in Germany are currently going through menopause and are therefore experiencing a profound phase: hormonal fluctuations, muscle atrophy, illness diagnoses, reorientation, and new career opportunities. There are so many topics, but they are far too rarely talked about.
Women over 50 form a significant population group, but their specific health and social challenges are often overlooked. Journalist and author Stephanie Hielscher has spoken to many of them and recorded their stories in her book So alt war ich noch nie: über das, was uns ab 50 erwartet. And what is it that awaits us after 50? At best, a new phase of life full of joy, self-confidence, and serenity without falling into toxic positivity, says Stephanie Hielscher.
Overview
- “It Just Surprises Me Sometimes When I Look in the Mirror and Suddenly There’s Something New”
- “It’s Better to Implement Little Things Straight Away Instead of Making a Whole List Like This”
- Stephanie Hielscher: “When You’re 50, You’re On Such a Journey to Find Yourself That Your Appearance Is no Longer Particularly Important”
STYLEBOOK: Ms. Hielscher, you are now 46 years old. Have you already thought about your 50th birthday?
Stephanie Hielscher: “I don’t have a concrete plan yet, but I’m definitely going to have a party. A friend of mine is now turning 50, which is why he initially wanted to flee with his family. He’s still doing that now and is going on a city trip with his family. But we persuaded him to have a party to celebrate. 50 is such a nice milestone; I don’t think you should hide it. I think you can consciously show and communicate that to the outside world.”
Do you like getting older?
“Sure, I like getting older, and I’m happy about every day that I’m healthy. But I don’t want to go in the direction of toxic positivity. Let’s not kid ourselves: At 50, the separation rate goes up, diagnoses go up, and I hope my parents are still well for a long time. These are all things that you can’t sugarcoat. I still think that getting older is a blessing. A lot of things get better; for example, you become more relaxed. I wanted to create a stage for all of this with my projects, the podcast “50 over 50″ and the book. Society ignores 50-year-olds. We women sometimes even join in: How many women still lie about their age? I think honesty is exemplary. Just say, ‘I’m afraid to go to my next check-up.'”
“It Just Surprises Me Sometimes When I Look in the Mirror and Suddenly There’s Something New”
When did you first feel “old?”
“I haven’t actually had a specific moment yet. Sometimes, I feel old when I’m with younger people and they ask me for advice, like a wise, older woman. I used to think that wouldn’t happen until I was 80. I observe that and am surprised by it. But I take it with humor.”
When was the first time you were annoyed by visual changes?
“I like wrinkles! I really do! That’s why I’m not that annoyed. It just surprises me sometimes when I look in the mirror and suddenly there’s something new there. I also get funny wrinkles. And what I don’t like is that my cheeks start to sag in a funny way. Well, but what the heck.”
… and when about physical ones?
“Not yet at all. Physically, I feel really fit! Even fitter than 10 years ago, when my child was still small. I felt physically exhausted from breastfeeding and lack of sleep. But I also do a lot more physical exercise now than I used to: barre, strength training, yoga.”
What does your training look like?
Stephanie Hielscher: “I now do strength training. I didn’t used to, but from the age of 40, you lose around 3 percent of your muscle mass every year. What I really like is barre. There’s always a real party atmosphere. But training can certainly also be more active; I believe you can achieve results more quickly with heavier weights compared to using those 2-kilo dumbbells. Ultimately, it’s the enjoyment and the impact on your inner well-being that matter. I’m also trying to eat more protein because of the muscle loss. But I’m still in the discovery phase myself.”
“It’s Better to Implement Little Things Straight Away Instead of Making a Whole List Like This”
Do you have a special beauty routine?
“I’m rather lazy and honestly don’t have any tips at all. I have a Gua Sha stone, which I use to rub my face. A lot of it is also genes. I go to the beauty salon once every 6 weeks. That’s it. The focus is on moisturizing the skin. Otherwise, I wash my face and then I’ve added a serum recently. But I never used to do any of that. A little bit of skincare is self-care for me today. I think that’s why it helps; not so much because it’s the result of the care that counts, but the time you take for yourself.”
What else do you want to learn in your later years?
“I definitely want to take piano lessons again! I’m incredibly passionate about learning and furthering my education. This time last year, I was training to become a yoga teacher; next year, I’d like to do further training in this so that I can also teach older people, for example, those with an artificial hip or other health problems. I would also like to train as a menopause counselor. I wouldn’t want to work in that field; I’d rather do it for myself.”
And what else do you want to experience?
“Next year we’re going to Japan! That’s been on my bucket list for a long time. And I really want to see these capybaras. I believe they can be found in the Bahamas. I’m not usually fond of swimming, but I’d make an exception to swim with a capybara. Otherwise, I’m a fan of doing little things straight away rather than making a whole list like that. I’d rather meditate for a moment, play the piano for a few minutes, and so on than always wait. I think there’s an art in doing nice things in between, anyway. It gives life more lightness and makes it easier for us to achieve our goals.”
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Stephanie Hielscher: “When You’re 50, You’re On Such a Journey to Find Yourself That Your Appearance Is no Longer Particularly Important”
What have you learned from women over 50?
“I found it amazing that there is a lot of confidence. Many women have discovered completely new qualities in themselves. It sounds so clichéd, but many said they had a whole new sense of serenity. The inside becomes more important, and outward appearances lose their value. As you get older, you can be sure that everyone is more in tune with themselves. If things go so well that you can grow with age, of course. It may be different if you suffer a bad blow.”
Do you think that the public only gives space to certain 50-year-old women? Let’s take Heidi Klum, for example, who is 50 years old. Can that create pressure for other women?
“I see it like this: if you’re lucky, by the time you’re 50, you’re so much on a journey towards yourself that appearance is no longer particularly important to you. Then you don’t have to be bothered by other people’s looks and are completely at peace with yourself. Of course, there is still some really bad age-shaming. I spoke to Sue Gies for my book. She started all over again at 50 and is very successful on Instagram. She now has her own fashion label and recently opened her first store in Hamburg – the things she has to put up with because she doesn’t hide are sometimes really inhumane.”
What advice would you give your 20-year-old self today?
“I would say something like: “Relax! Everything you do is right, and what’s on the outside is not so important. What’s important is what’s important to YOU.” The question is whether my 20-year-old self would even listen to that… “