October 13, 2024, 3:34 pm | Read time: 3 minutes
When was the last time you really made out with the person you’re in a relationship with? Exactly! Sometimes, it’s the little things that have a big impact – and this is especially true for relationships. One of the simplest but most effective ways to create closeness and intimacy again could be surprisingly simple: a kiss that lasts exactly six seconds. Sounds banal? It’s not!
But what makes the 6-second kiss so special, and can it truly revive a strained or stagnant relationship? STYLEBOOK took a closer look at the Gottman Institute’s theory.
Overview
What makes the 6-second kiss so special?
According to the renowned Gottman Institute, which has been researching relationships for decades, the length of a kiss is of crucial importance. A quick peck may be pleasant, but it often becomes nothing more than routine. A six-second kiss, on the other hand, consciously creates a connection. This moment is long enough to block out the stress of everyday life and concentrate fully on your partner.
“Six seconds is enough to create a connection and clear your head,” explains Dr. John Gottman, psychologist and co-founder of the Institute. It is a small ritual that strengthens emotional closeness and increases appreciation for each other.
The kiss as a ritual of connection
In a hectic world full of to-do lists and commitments, togetherness is often lost. The 6-second kiss can remedy this. The Gottmans refer to it as a “ritual of connection”—a deliberate pause that communicates, “You matter to me.” This gesture stands out from the routine and brings you and your partner closer together again.
It’s not just about physical closeness but also about the feeling of being appreciated and noticed. Such a kiss transcends mere romance—it signals that you’re carving out time for one another amidst life’s stresses.
Why just six seconds can save your relationship
The Gottmans’ research shows that six seconds is a particularly magical number. In these moments, the body starts to release oxytocin, often referred to as the ‘cuddle hormone’ or ‘love hormone.’ It promotes trust, reduces stress, and strengthens the bond between two people. While a quick kiss cannot have this effect, a six-second kiss is just the right amount to create a tangible emotional and physical connection. Longer is always possible, of course!
The kiss as a daily exercise
Experts recommend finding fixed times to integrate the 6-second kiss into your everyday life. Be it in the morning before you leave the house or in the evening before you go to bed – the timing is less important than the regularity. The goal is to establish a routine that interrupts the daily grind and fosters a deliberate moment of unity.
And rest assured, it’s not about treating this as a mandatory task. On the contrary – enjoy sharing this moment with your partner and let yourself be surprised by the magic of a simple but meaningful kiss.
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A small ritual with a big effect
Why not give it a try? Take the six seconds – no more, no less – and experience how a conscious kiss can enrich your relationship. It’s a straightforward yet impactful gesture that conveys, “I see you, I value you, and you mean the world to me.” Time for togetherness doesn’t have to be long, but it does need to be consciously designed. Give it a shot—perhaps the 6-second kiss will quickly become the highlight of your day!